got the title from the LOST ad on tv.

rather true dun u think.stop giving me THE look.

my house(note:the choice of word used) is a battlezone.

shouting.screaming.tension.tears.resentment.fear.pain.anger.

all those rolled into one.and dis is no california maki.

to me,the house is just a four-room flat.not a home,well defintely not for me and a far cry from the sanctuary that it shld have been.

all i want to to is either slp in dat unpretentious bed of mine or to lose myself by watching those shows on tv.forget that im in the house.be deaf and oblivious to the things happening ard me.

the meds are not making me feel any better.the side effects such as headaches n dizziness are killing me.oh well,im already halfway dead.im having a silent killer dis very minute.as much as i dun wanna talk bout whats bothering me,i do really want to let it all go.but how?telling it to honey munchkins?i bet she's already disappointed in me.

i noe.im a ball of BS.i mean which gf says that she doesnt love her own gf?yup.ME.BS rite.dun ask me y i said it but i did.i was sick and definitely not in the right frame of mind.so what u think?excuses?but those are my reasons.

so i do love thee?yes i do.thats the truth.no use lying bout that.

my mind is full of scorpions.ah, a lil saying i learnt in lit class many years ago.im gg to act as if nothing is wrong n supress it all.i noe, the easy way out:ESCAPISM.i noe its not a solution but give me a break.i juz wanna peace of mind.so fuck off headaches!

.for she longed to smile again.

i wanna be pampered.loved.and made known that im cared for.sweet nothings;let me hear you linger.hugs,cuddles,kisses.let me sleep in your arms and hear ur hear you heart beating.

ayah,will u manja me again?

.sayangansangat.

angel.